Mother-in-law jokes have been around for years, perhaps due to the need for healthy relationships. Most adults have that first meeting with potential mother-in-law. And most mothers hope their children will marry, without thinking about becoming a mother-in-law. Here are some healthy relationship suggestions for both generations.

Focus on relationship. One new person is meeting family who have established relationships. Would you want to feel judged? Would you want to feel welcomed and accepted? Focus on the good qualities, not judging. Others feel your attitude.

Instead of worrying about how you look, engage your emotions in the present. Really hear what the other is saying, and respond from your heart. 

The best conversationalists are those who ask questions. Find topics the other person is interested in and ask questions. People love to talk about themselves. You will be amazed at how fast your nerves calm when you really listen.

Keep the focus on relationship, not what money can buy. Hostess can serve a meal notches above the norm. Visitor can send a very pricey thank you gift. Neither builds relationship.

Hard questions can become devisive. In your exuberance you ask the new fiancee if she would like your engagement ring. Better to ask your son alone. If you are the recipient of such an offer, saying "thank you" is the number one response. Then ask your fiancee what he thinks.

Some people use alcohol to calm their nerves. Drunkenness does not build relationship. Remember the purpose is building relationship.

We have all experienced difficult and embarrassing moments. We can choose to learn from them. Parents have more experiences. They carry the long end of the stick in setting the tone of the relationship.